by Danielle Andrews Sunkel
I am in no way trying to scare you off the wonderful world of wedding and event planning, but being a planner is not all tulle, lace and buttercream.
Here are a few things that those entering the Wedding and Event Industry do not consider or underestimate:
1. The Costs of Setting Up a Business
You need professional clothes, proper shoes, a stocked emergency kit, website, letterhead, logo, business cards, professional credentials such as your WPIC Certification ;), advertising, binders, file folders, business licenses, insurance, etc. And that is all before you even meet a client!
The little things can really add up, I recently got three new engraved nametags for myself and my assistants, the cost was $90.
2. The Amount of Work that Goes into Just one Wedding
There is sourcing, research, meetings with your couple, meetings with the vendors, telephone calls, emails, text messages, site visits, contract reviews, licenses, tastings, rehearsals and consulting, consulting, consulting. All this planning, research and driving around can amount to over 100-200 hours.
Meetings aren’t just talking, I am sketching, measuring, taking photos, taking pages of notes, gathering as much information as possible, then all those notes and information need to be transcribed and acted on.
Before the wedding day you are putting together all of your notes, checklists, diagrams and assembling your wedding binder/clipboard and restocking your emergency kit for a wedding which can takes hours.
On the actual wedding day, you are going to be on-site 10-14 hours, handling every detail no matter how large or how small. And remember, that is just ONE wedding, you will be juggling at least 10 weddings at a time. There is a reason CareerCast.com rated Event Coordinator as the fifth most stressful job of 2014.
3. Resistance from Other Vendors
You can’t always choose the vendors you are going to work with, the couple may have already booked some services or you may be only providing Month-Of services. In those cases, vendors may have worked with a difficult wedding planner (boo hiss!) or they have a misconception of how professional Wedding and Event Planners work. Take it with a grain of salt, be the professional you are and don’t try to tell them how to do their job, you will earn their trust and respect quickly, if not, make a note to never work with them again 😉
4. Resentment from Family Members
Unfortunately many family members resent the presence of a Wedding Planner. They don’t properly understand what your role is and just want to feel needed. Be empathetic, be professional, be respectful, be diplomatic and most importantly, be confident. If you aren’t confident those mothers or sisters will chew you up and spit you out!
5. Importance of Constant Education
If there wasn’t a need for constant education, there wouldn’t be so many conferences and courses available to Wedding & Event Professionals. This blog wouldn’t exist. As much as some like to pretend they do, NO ONE KNOWS EVERYTHING about the Weddings. We can all learn from each other whether it is a new idea or a best practice. Part of your job is constantly upgrading your education and bettering yourself through networking and learning.
Like anything worthwhile, wedding and event planning is not easy, there is a lot of stress, challenges, finessing and hard work. It is also very rewarding and fulfilling. You get to be creative, you know you are making people’s lives easier and better, you are a huge part of making incredible memories for the couple, you are part therapist, part friend, part advocate. You get to see a project through from conception to completion within a year. For a multitasker who is properly prepared for this job, the rewards far outweigh the stress and it feels like the best job in the world!
Number 4…omg, number 4 :/
And its not just the mothers, I find that lately, the fathers are a lot more vocal as well!
The great thing though is that while they may resent you, and not be polite to you, usually by the end of the night…they almost sort of, like you!
I had a couple email me a few months ago and I was so happy to hear that the same parents that resented me in the beginning, suggested hiring me again for the second sisters wedding.
It was probably one of the proudest moments I’ve had in my career thus far. I was truly humbled. 🙂
Fantastic! What a great feeling.
So true! #3 resonates wayyyy too well! I find every month-of has at least 1 vendor like that!
It is so unfortunate! We make everyone’s lives easier if people would just let us!
Oh this is so true! I’ve started really trying to give praise to different family members that have done things as part of the wedding planning. I find just being personable and complimenting them takes away a good amount of that tension, if there is any. It’s amazing the response you get when you just show some kindness and encouragement.
Fantastic tips Amanda!
You are so right about that! I think its because they start to realize your not some crazy bossy monster, but rather someone who actually appreciates the work this person has done for the bride / groom and they wedding day.
Great article Danielle. I’d like to address Point #3 as it is top of mind for me. Last month I did a wedding at a very elegant, popular and beloved venue. When I met the Maitre ‘D (my go-to guy for the evening) I sensed a distinct chill. He was very distant and unfriendly, and I assumed he took an instant dislike to me. My assistant also picked up on his negative vibe. Within an hour he realised that my attitude and approach was one of mutual support and collaboration he warmed right up. In no time he was friendly and gracious and we worked together very very well. I can only assume he’d had bad experiences in the past and was being ultra-cautious.
I’m so glad it got better Christine. I’ve really noticed showing respect and not being confrontational or trying to prove yourself, goes a long way to changing the other vendor’s demeanour.
Haha, the last line of #3! But #1 is definitely where I’m finding myself now. Recently I attended an Open House for a new venue and I quickly realized that my outfit did NOT fit in with the other professionals! So that weekend I made it a mission to get a new wardrobe. I asked the cashier not to tell me how much it came to and to just charge the card! No regrets though – I definitely feel a lot more confident meeting vendors in the new attire.
Fantastic Mariel!
#3 is interesting because in my most recent wedding, the resentment wasn’t directed at me. I had to referee an argument between 2 vendors that almost came to blows. It actually had some pushing and shoving and shouting in front of the guests! The situation was diffused and moved to another room but… WOW!!!
I think that when dealing with vendors who are resentful of our presence, the key is a cool head and professional demeanor regardless of how you are steaming on the inside. Ultimately, the day is not about you and you can do only as much to assist as you can – and document everything! You’re carrying a clipboard – keep notes.
Wow, what a situation!
Good tips, Alicia!
This is awesome! #1 and #5 I can relate to so much! #1 is easy for me since I work full time in an office environment but it’s a little more relaxed now I had a reason to buy nicer fancier clothes and justified it as buying for day time work and evening work wear! 🙂 Win Win! #5 it is so important to continue education. People keep asking me why I’m still finishing my program at Algonquin since I have my certification now and I just keep telling them, you’re always learning and it’ll better my business in the long run!
Absolutely Alicia!
It sometimes demands investments of time and labor.
This is a great post! As a wedding planner who is starting out, it’s great to have such a fabulous support system (hooray for WPIC) and mentors to learn from. And in regards to #2 – so true, there’s definitely so much more than meets the eye.
These are all great tips! I agree with it all. Thanks for a great blog Danielle!
The cost of starting and staying in business is hard to handle in the early days. When you are just getting started and there is not a steady flow of business coming your way, spending thousands of dollars is hard. The key is in understanding that it is necessary!